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 Posted: Sun Oct 5th, 2008 05:34 pm
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Mr Hess53
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Alcohol, Firearms, and Tobacco should be the name of a convienience store....



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 Posted: Sat Oct 11th, 2008 05:03 pm
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Mr Hess53
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JDC Duncan wrote: you never been to Texas, have ya ?

Many times!!

I had family that lived in Wichita Falls for years!



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 Posted: Wed Oct 15th, 2008 08:39 pm
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Mr Hess53
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What does an agnostic dyslexic with insomnia do??

 

Stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.....



 Posted: Tue Oct 28th, 2008 11:52 pm
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Dixie Girl
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why is trick or treating better than sex?

because no matter how ugly you are, you still get some



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War Means Fighting And Fighting Means Killing - N. B. Forrest When war does come, my advice is to draw the sword and throw away the scabbard." Stonewall Jackson


 Posted: Tue Oct 28th, 2008 11:56 pm
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Dixie Girl
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As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment, I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, 'I'm sorry.
Was I tickling you?' She replied, 'No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'
(anonymous)



A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, 'Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by an RN, no name.



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War Means Fighting And Fighting Means Killing - N. B. Forrest When war does come, my advice is to draw the sword and throw away the scabbard." Stonewall Jackson


 Posted: Tue Oct 28th, 2008 11:57 pm
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Dixie Girl
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Three little Boys were concerned
because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.
They decided it was because they had not been Baptized
and didn't go to Sunday School.


So they went to the nearest Church

But, only the Janitor was there.

One little Boy said,
"We need to be baptized
because no one will come out and play with Us.
Will You baptize Us?"
"Sure," said the Janitor.



He took them into the bathroom
and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl,
one at a time.
Then He said, "You are now Baptized!".



" When they got outside,
one of them asked,
"What religion do You think We are?"


The oldest one said,

"We're not Kathlick, .....because they pour the water on You."
"We're not Babtis, because they dunk all of You in the water."
"We're not Methdiss, .....because they just sprinkle water on You."

The littlest one said,
"Didn't you smell that water!"


They all joined in asking,
"Yeah! What do You think that means?"


"I think it means we're Pisscopailians.



____________________
War Means Fighting And Fighting Means Killing - N. B. Forrest When war does come, my advice is to draw the sword and throw away the scabbard." Stonewall Jackson


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 Posted: Fri Nov 21st, 2008 03:43 am
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Dixie Girl
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i have recently discovered the tv show Alf and i love it. Alf is so cute!!! yall all remember how Alf loved to eat cats??? well i wrote a poem about Alfs love of eating cats.

I love cats,

they are tasty,

honey roasted,

with some gravy.



Deep fried at the carnival,

eat them off a stick,

french cooked or road kill,

you can take your pick.



And you are really lucky,

if you get them in a group,

rabies make them extra tasty,

put them in a soup.



Now some people,

think cats are gross,

but on Melnac

 we love cats the most!

Last edited on Fri Nov 21st, 2008 04:55 am by Dixie Girl



____________________
War Means Fighting And Fighting Means Killing - N. B. Forrest When war does come, my advice is to draw the sword and throw away the scabbard." Stonewall Jackson


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